Slowly I come back to undeath, piercing the sofa cushions with my claws when I almost tumble off into the carpet below. Bits of Halloween candy snuggle inside my messy hair, and I pluck one with a slightly disoriented look.  

“Lose weight fast with a healthy brain transplant! Just call 1-800-Mi-Going-To-Fit-In-Those-Jeans-”

I click the television off with a groan, tossing the remote over a mountain of pizza boxes and webbed pastries. 

It smells almost worse than a graveyard in here, and I wave my hands to disperse a bit of lingering smoke as I start for the dizzying stairway, trying not trip face first onto the table.

"...Oof....Yeah, yeah...I'll feed again and all that jazz..." A burp escapes me, drunkenly stumbling around you in my heels. I use your sleeping body for support, and scratch the walls as I nearly fall over your legs. 

"...Just let me get some Pepto first..." 

Approaching the stairway I take a solemn Jack O Lantern in my grasp, licking my bloody claws and smothering its flame out, before tossing the orange pumpkin across the room with a splat. 

The surrounding paintings trail my backside with their eyes as I disappear upstairs with a gravely chorus of hungover moaning…

...

Beatrice soon peeks her many eyes up from one of the boxes, the adorable spider covered in blood red pizza sauce. 

She looks at the messy carnage surrounding her on the table, shaking a 'Cirith Crispies' wrapper from her fuzzy abdomen and clicking her fangs when she spies the obliterated, smoking pumpkin by the TV.

Your voice releases a quiet, oblivious snore as the giant spider crawls up your body, looking deeply into your hypnotized eyes and giving you a gentle nuzzle on your cheek. 

Taking some of my candy from your hair, she fixes your unruly locks, closing the Maleficarvm with her webbing before glancing up towards the stairway and my long clawmarks on the wall….

...

Nestled snugly in my coffin bed, I flutter my eyes back open and lower the covers to find myself wrapped up in thick spider web. 

A smile comes to my sleepy, vampiric face when Beatrice drops from the ceiling above, dangling before me with her legs gently touching my cheeks. 

"Mm...She's a pretty baby...Izz it sundown already..?" I manage to get out with a yawn, my red eyes lazily rolling about our candlelit room before they fixate on the gorgeous tarantula, slowly rocking back and forth by her web string. 

"Ooooo lookit this...Even you're gettin' in on it now..." 

My fluttering lids quickly widen as a tingling euphoria enters my evil mind, a soft giggle all I can muster as I follow her hypnotic swing, more beautiful than any pendulum could hope to be. 

Damn it's not fair, I'm supposed to be the sexy hypnotist in this story...Aww but she's just so cute...I wish I had those fangs…And those legs…

Weblike spirals soon overtake my vision, swirling around endlessly in my head as the pretty spider continues swaying back and forth, bloody drool running down my chin. 

"Yess...I will buy more donuts...Must buy more donuts..." I drone out in a mindlessly obedient whisper. It feels so good to comply, and I soon drop into an even more relaxed and thoughtless slumber. 

"...And I must...clean the living room…Ohhaa…”

Slowly my black eyelids close, and a quiet snore fills the gothic bedroom. Beatrice drops from her web to land over my breasts, making herself comfortable and hugging my chest with her legs. 

I reach my hand up through the webbing, snoring away in hypnotized tranquility and nuzzling her deeper in a loving snuggle, my black lips curling into a fanged smile...

________________

HAPPY HYPNOWEEN!