Isaac enjoyed two things in life. Walking his beloved dog Susie at the park and playing phone games while doing so. He could play a game, play with his dog and exercise at the same time? Sign him up!

 

…Okay maybe the exercise was a bit overstated. Usually he just walked her around the park a few times and then let her loose to sniff around and play with the ducks. Could you blame him? Exercise only got in the way of his game time and Susie was a very behaved dog that wouldn’t harm a fly so why not let her roam around a little? 

 

…So maybe that was one and a half things. He liked to walk Susie a little bit but what he really liked was playing phone games. Was that so wrong? 

 

Not that Isaac was out of shape anyway! Okay he was a bit out of shape. A tiny bit pudgy around the waist and his arms were noodles but they weren’t that skinny. He could lift! Okay he could barely lift one-hundred pounds on a good day. But everyone had to start somewhere right? 

 

They’d walked for a little more than five minutes before he was already getting bored. “Okay, I’m tired Suz!” He bent down and ruffled the overexcited dog’s head as he led her towards the park’s pond and the ducks quacking excitedly around it.  “Go play with the ducks!” He let her leash go and she dashed away excitedly barking up a storm as she chased the ducks around.

 

He walked towards the nearest to the pond as Suzie’s barking and the ducks terrified quacking became nothing more than background noise as he pulled out his phone and started to scroll through the newest apps to see if there was anything new worth downloading. Of late he’d been playing Monster A Go-Go as an additional excuse to go out and do a little exercise with Susie but had quickly grown bored (and tired) of the constant walking it entailed to find anything of value and truth be told he wasn’t really a fan of the game to begin with. 

 

There had to be a more mature, more sexy game out there! One where he could buy some hot waifus and not some animals from a children’s game he had long outgrown. He was twenty-four now, not fourteen after all! 

 

Suzie was barking louder and the protests of the ducks honking at her was getting loud and distracting. “Suzie!” He said not looking up from his phone. “Leave the ducks alone!” 

 

Suzie ignored him and kept barking. The labrador wasn’t the most obedient dog in the world, especially when excited and her energy was always off the charts during walks and when ducks were involved…

 

There was another bark and then a splash as she dove into the water after them. The ducks honked even louder at this and there was the flutter of wings as they took off to escape the playful dog. Stale bread from strangers wasn’t worth this hassle. 

 

Isaac glanced back down at his phone. Yeah Suzie was a bit untrained but that wasn’t a big deal, really. She came when he called her name… most of the time and she was very friendly and wouldn’t harm a fly so he wasn’t worried about her hurting the ducks or anyone else and with the ducks gone he could go back to looking for something new to play. 

 

He’d worry about drying Suzie off later. A little wet dog never hurt anyone. 

He browsed through the app list and was disappointed. There were a lot of anime games but most of them were for ones he didn’t really care for. He was about to give up and just go back to the game when his phone started acting strange. 

 

The app menu froze for a split second and then glitched out into a multitude of colors as a new app appeared on the store. In fact, it was the only app on the store. A massive, oversized icon appeared on his screen with a scantily clad anime girl dressed in a skimpy playboy bunny costume posing on top of a logo.

 

 

“Weird.” Isaac said as he looked at it more closely. The anime girl mascot looked vaguely familiar though he couldn’t pinpoint exactly where he had seen her. She looked like someone had stuck every single hot anime babe in existence into a blender and combined them all into one singular babe. He could see hints of Bulma from Dragon Ball Z (mainly the hair) but also elements of other characters like Tifa and Misato. 

 

“Must be some kind of AI generated model.” He said. It was tempting to write it off because of that. Why would he engage with something that was pumped out of the slop machine? But fuck if he couldn’t look away from her either even in that tiny icon she looked so sexy!

 

The logo itself was even stranger, he noticed after finally prying his eyes away from the scantily clad anime babe. It seemed to be… pulsing? Glitching out still? That didn’t seem like it was possible weren’t app icons static? Maybe his phone was just messed up. Suzie had gotten a hold of it this morning and nearly chewed it apart so maybe his screen was just acting up. 

 

Despite his hesitation Isaac couldn’t resist he clicked on the app and…

 

His phone went dead. The screen instantly went black as it shut itself off. “Shit!” Isaac yelled as he frantically held the power button down on his phone. 

 

Suzie heard her master cursing and ran up to him. Sniffing at his legs and then his phone as her master kept cursing up a storm as the realization the app may have bricked his phone started to sink in. 

 

Sitting down at his feet the soaking wet dog wagged her tail in that way only a dumb, happy lab could as she started to bark excitedly. She didn’t know what was going on with the phone or even really knew what a phone was. She just wanted her master to put it away and play with her! 

 

“Quiet, Suzie.” Isaac said. “Go play with the ducks.” 

 

She kept barking. Only getting more excited when she heard the word “duck” were there more ducks? Where were they!? She was now really barking and Isaac flinched at the sound. There was no way he’d hush her up now except to indulge her. Still holding the power button on his phone he stood up and looked around for something to distract her while he tried to fix his phone. 

 

He saw a good sized branch just a few feet from the bench and got up, walking over to it as Suzie bounced excitedly and tugged at his socks and shoes with excitement. Playtime! Playtime! Playtime!

 

“Quit that!” Isaac said, his mood turning foul as he bent down and picked the branch up. “Here. See?” he held the branch up to the dog’s face to get her attention which worked perfectly, her eyes lighting up in excitement at the prospect of fetch. 

 

“Go get it!” He yelled as he tossed the stick as far as he could (not as far as he’d have liked but still an impressive throw all the same) and Suzie took off after it. The dog dashing off further into the park as she went for her prize. 

 

Isaac' phone vibrated. Or more accurately it started pulsing so hard it was actually painful! “Shit!” Isaac yelped, dropping the phone on the ground as it continued vibrating wildly, making a hellish squealing noise as it did. “What the fuck?” Isaac said moving away and cowering behind the bench, genuinely afraid it was going to explode like a bomb and tear him apart. He’d heard about that kind of thing happening… in movies. But if it was in a movie it had to have some kind of truth to it! …Right?

 

The phone stopped vibrating and he peeked his head from over the bench to look. The phone was still. Okay. That was good.

 

He moved slowly over to it and picked it up. Geez! It was burning hot! What happened to it? He hoped it still worked! 

 

He cautiously pressed the power button and was met with a loud sensual moan from the phone as it booted back up. 

 

“Fucking hell!” He screamed in shock as he covered his eyes and braced himself for the explosion that was surely going to kill him. “Fuckfuckfuck…”

 

The moaning continued and he slowly opened his eyes and let out a sigh of relief. Still alive! With a shaky arm he brought the phone to his face and looked. Then blinked in bafflement.

 

The phone was a swirl of psychedelic colors with the words “HENTAINATOR: WAIFU EDITION” bouncing around the screen in obnoxious hot pink that managed to pop out even amongst the eye searing brightness of his screen. 

 

“HENTAI?” It said right below the title with a pulsing neon green box. With some hesitation he tapped it with his finger and his phone let out a longer moan and then seemed to actually shudder in his hand as the screen changed. This time to a Terms of Service with a font and color that were so godawful that Isaac didn’t even attempt to read it before swiping it away.

 

“WELCOME… TO HENTAINATOR: WAIFU EDITION” the words scrolled painfully slow across the screen like a news Chyron. “YOU %NAME% HAVE BEEN SELECTED TO ENGAGE IN OUR FREE TRIAL!” 

 

Isaac looked on in bafflement. Free trial? Selected? What kind of scam was this? What was wrong with his phone?

 

“ONE WAIFU TOKEN IS GRANTED. YOU MAY CHANGE ANYONE: PET OR PERSON, ANIMAL OR HUMAN (ALSO ANIMAL) INTO WAIFU SLAVE!” the screen flickered and showed another message. 

 

 

Beneath the text was a stickman being struck by a car with three wheels being driven by the blue haired mascot. Isaac clicked the message and the screen flickered one final time before presenting him with a satellite view of the park with a low polygon black blob that had “%NAME%” over its head. 

 

Guess that was him.

 

Above the map to the left was the same mascot from earlier doing a pole dance on the “I” in Hentainator… or Hentain. The text was poorly positioned and went off screen. There were no other buttons or icons. Just the title, the map, the blob that was hime and…

 

 

Several more blobs popped up labeled:

 

 

He did a double take. Suzie!? Was this thing reading his social media profiles? He ignored the other blobs popping up and pressed the blob labeled Suzie. The screen glitched again and his jaw dropped.

 

It was Suzie! Or at least a badly animated model of Suzie. Her fur was glitching and the stick she was holding was clipping through her mouth but she looked almost identical. She even had the top part of her ear missing from an incident that had happened when she was a puppy! What the fuck!?

 

Beneath this model was a single word.

 

 

Without really thinking about it he tapped it with his finger, curious what would happen. Maybe it was using AI to make procedurally generated “waifus” out of existing models. But that still didn’t explain–

 

“HENTAIFYING BEGINNING!” A voice boomed from the phone making him nearly drop the phone again at the sudden noise. Fuck it. Once this was over with he was uninstalling this piece of shit and if he couldn’t he was buying another phone!

 

On the screen a textureless grey conveyor belt appeared underneath suzie and moved her to down towards a looming machine in the background appropriately titled “HENTAINATOR” Suzie’s model vanished inside with a loud thud as the doors on the machine slammed shut. Pink steam emitted from underneath the doors as the phone started to vibrate and moan as pulsing neon green text appeared below. 

 

 

“Okay…” Isaac said. “Guess I’ll wait.” He really hoped no one walked by and heard his phone making porn noise… and where was Suzie? “Suzie!” He called out. “Time to go!”