I've always been my most at peace when I'm fighting, or getting ready to do just that. It's a space where I don't have to worry about anything other than the moment. It's where I'm most comfortable, outside of being in Kam.

The ever-present roar of the life I live dims to a dull rumble in its face.

Something else happens, too, that I don't think I understood until recently — the fluttering exhilaration of hunting. That's what it is, and what I've denied it being. When I'm like this, people don't understand I stop being a person. Predators aren't human. They're animals.

I'm in animal.

Something feral and unsparing... Something truly monstrous, even if nobody notices. Even if I hide it behind the pretty face they see on magazines.

I've done this so many times that it's natural to me: the way I was scan the hallway, how I hold myself, my mind plotting moves and countermoves.

All on impulse.

Instinct.

All these animal urges driven into me from years of combat that causes me to ram my fist into Draxus of Kjel'Doran over and over again without thinking. I don't even recognize it's him behind the mask until I feel something solid connect with my ribs.

The side of Kam's tail thuds into me and clamps around my waist, hauling me back as though I was little more than a doll in her grasp. I don't know if it's my fists or Kam's tail that knocked loose the mask secured around his face, but I secretly hope it was Kam.

Not me.

Please not me.

I'm a foot off of the ground when she lets me go. Limp and horrified at what I've done, I collapse to the ground with a dull thud. I can't do anything except lie there, numb and wishing I could stop the blood pouring from the cut above his eyebrow.

Kam runs to Draxus, and I can't blame her.

Whatever instinctual calm that Kam had cracked open moments earlier by reminding me of our first fight splits wide open; a rush of emotions so powerful I can't be sure whether it's Kam's or mine floods into the gulf, and I shiver — letting out a pained, confused sob.

At what, I don't know.

There's just grief, and pain, and too much of everything to pick through the overload... until I hear Kam stammer "Rax, w-wait!"

And then the blinding, crushing pain of sadness for a loss yet to come and the true, real agony of being punched by Draxus of Kjel'Doran rips through first Kam, then me.

And then my hands're pressed against Kam's back, steadying her. I must've blinked myself to her, instincts kicking in. The calm doesn't return with them, cruelly discarded. Draxus charges at Kam again, shoulder lowered in an attempt to knock both of us down.

I blink Kam and I deeper into the room.

We're out of sight for the moment as Draxus careens into the wall. Glass goes flying and he mutters a curse.

"How...?" Kam asks. "How did I not see it?"

I take her head in my hands. "Hey, focus up. He's your friend and he needs you."

"He's being controlled somehow," Kam says.

"Maybe," I say.

It's the wrong sentiment, based on how Kam twist free of my hold. "He's being controlled. Are you going to help me?"

I nod. "Y-yeah. Yes." I add the second word when my voice comes out tentative. I know I can't hide it, but I can't help the part of me that's scared about that being true.

I don't want it to be.

I don't want to think about Desdemona. I don't want to believe it's the truth, so I blink out from cover and rip a pair of disarming runes from the raw aether. They hum in my hands, and I almost have them combined when Draxus kicks off the wall and comes barreling toward me.

I go to dodge, not wanting to fumble the runes, when Kam bats him out of the air with her tail. He twists with the hit, but manages to get his feet underneath him. Landing low and on all fours, he skids to a stop, and then stomps his feet against the floor.

The fabric of his boots tear away, revealing cloven hooves. Above his brow, twisting rams' horns push free from his scalp as his muscles surge with power. I feel the magical essence of his transformation surging off him. Not yet complete, which means there's a window for this to work.

But it means that there's only one shot to dispel whatever's controlling him... if I believe he's being controlled. Kam does. I could just ignore her instincts, except she's smart. So much damn smarter than this world gives her credit for being.

I won't be one of those people.

I clap the runes into place and pluck a few more from the aether, working fast.

Draxus' skin takes on a glowing crimson hue that seems to drip off him. Seconds left to work.

I weave the final runes of the expulsion incantation and flick them forward as Draxus begins to rush at me.

It hits him square in the chest, and Kam screams "No!" as the bolt pierces him. He falters and then collapses to his knees.

"What did you...?" Kam says, betrayal and disbelief warring in her.

Then Draxus wretches, and I can't be here for a second longer. I blink into the hallway.

I know before Kam says it. I know because it's all my fears in one. I remember the nightmare that started my day: Kam burning away to reveal the monster beneath.

To reveal Desdemona.

"Is that... Decay?"