It took all of Sarah's self-control to not burst out laughing before the pathetic display unfolding before here. Lucy had asked to sit with her in the kitchen, saying she had some bad news. Oh, really?

 

"Can you give me... 4 months?", Lucy finally choked out.

-What do you mean 4 months?! I have a mortgage to pay, and I'm already renting to you super cheap! And didn't you tell me you had housing grants?"

 

Lucy launched into a frantic explanation, sobbing, explaining how the grants would come back in 4 months, how her accounts were emptied, on how the bank was having a hard time tracking the multiple shady websites that charged her card (half believing her claims about being "hacked"), on how she would pay as soon as possible... Seeing her so vulnerable, crushed, almost made Sarah back off. Almost.

 

"Listen... calm down. Calm down. It sucks! Yes it sucks! But it's not the end of the world." She waited for Lucy to meet her eyes (a glazed, tearful mess) before continuing. "You don't have an housing grant anymore, but I'm sure you can find 650 a month, isn't it?"

 

Lucy knew Sarah was right. It was a big setback, but she could rebound. She had just started in her dream school (against her parents' wishes), Sarah was VERY accommodating, and yes, she could find a student job and make enough to cover the rent. She could make it work.

 

"Ok! Let's do it that way: you don't have the pay this month's rent..." (Lucy's eyes widened) "...until the end of the month! How is it?"

 

Sarah offered her a placating smile, savoring the false hope she'd given her for a split second.

 

"No bad, huh? That should give you some breathing room."

 

Her tenant nodded weakly.

 

So, Lucy began a relentless job application journey. She applied online, sent cold emails, left her resume at grocery stores and cafes (that would often tell her to apply online). Surely, surely, something would pan out, right?

 

But Sarah systematically sabotaged her, dismantling every chance she got. She watched Lucy's mailbox like an obsessive predator, deleting positive answers, interview requests, and expressions of interest as soon as they arrived. She crafted fake rejection letters. A twisted satisfaction bloomed each time she hit "send", knowing she was crushing Lucy's tentative hopes. She was also ready to ramp up the drug dosage to make her fail in person interviews (but Lucy never got one).

Lucy almost landed a barista gig at a trendy coffee shop, until the coffee shop called her back to cancel. Of course, on the other end of the line was simply Sarah's friend posing as the manager. And Sarah herself called back the coffee shop pretending to be a Lucy not interested in the job offer anymore.

 

So, at the end of the third week, with only 2 weeks left to the end of the month, Lucy still didn't had any job. What a catastrophic start for her. Every day, she stumbled through her classes in a dumb stupor, struggling to stay awake during lectures, barely able of forming coherent notes or engaging in discussions. She would come home extremely tired, with a blurry memory of the school day and would try to find a job only to fail, fail and fail again, the despair creeping up like a cold knife in her chest. Surely her luck would eventually turn around, wouldn’t it? If not... if not she’d have to swallow her pride, say good-bye to the school, return home, admit defeat to her parents. Her only source of warm was Sarah. Sarah was comforting her, making her food, encouraging her. And, one evening, while Lucy stared blankly into a bowl of noodles, she threw yet another lifeline:

"Cheer up! Guess what? I may have a job for you!"

 

A glimpse of hope.

 

"What is it?

-So! One of my photographer friend is looking for two girls to model lingerie. Usually his studio only work with experienced models but he's trusting me on you.", Sarah explained casually, carefully observing Lucy's reaction. "Since you're a total novice it won't pay much but it's better than nothing...

-How much?", asked Lucy, anxious.

"150$. For two or three hours, top!"

 

Lucy considered it. To her own surprise, she found herself thinking about it more seriously than she should have. Lingerie modeling? It was far removed from her aspirations... still...

 

"I'm... I'm not sure", she answered hesitantly. She knew it would be hard to refuse: it was a quick job, offered on a silver platter, by someone she owed money to.

 

"Why not?", asked Sarah inquisitively.

 

Lucy couldn't say how demeaning she thought this kind of job was, because she already lied to Sarah about her view on porn and didn't want to alienate her further.

 

"Nonsense! They're not looking for bimbos! The concept is 'every day girls'. If not, I'd have applied.", she said, emphasizing what she meant by mimicking a kiss with her enhanced lips.

 

"I don't know..." A pause. "I don't know if I can do it. I feel... I feel it's..." She felt it was degrading, but she couldn't say it. This was exactly why her mother had been so adamantly opposed to her going off to business school on her own. Lucy had always sensed that her mother saw herself as the only thing keeping her daughter on the straight and narrow. As if the second Lucy escaped her watchful eye, she was bound to go astray and turn out like one of "those" girls. She had even asked, right before Lucy left, whether her roommate was a decent woman. At this, Lucy had laughed and answered, "Of course."

 

She couldn't do this.

 

"I feel it's weird."

 

"What? It's only lingerie! It's like being in a bikini. Don't worry babe, I know the guy, he's a pro. Nothing weird there."

 

Only lingerie. Like being in a bikini. Was it really degrading?She wasn't so sure. If she was even considering doing something degrading, then her mother had been right about her all along. But it wasn't, right?

 

Besides, what choice did she have? Lucy reluctantly agreed.