Hello, faithful readers. I'm sure you've noticed that there hasn't been much in the way of updates lately. Truth be told, there isn't any special reason for this; I have been busy with my research on the paranormal as ever, and sometimes that requires me to 'log off', so to speak.

There is, however, something that's come up recently for which I believe you're all owed an explanation.

First of all, I have been interviewing a new vampire. As ever, this blog is not a vampire hunting resource—I would have no luck finding sources if it were—so I will not be disclosing her identity. I will, however, be discussing the broad strokes of what I've gathered.

It's not much, of course. I've yet to find a vampire any less infuriatingly obsessed with blood and sex than the woman who enthralled me all those years ago. Who, to remind those of you who insist on forgetting, died before any of you were born, and holds no further power over my decisions— Indeed, I would hardly be saying such things about her were I still the woman I was back then, nor would I be saying such things about the many vampires I've studied since. I wouldn't possess half the ability to resist their charms, either.

The point being, my present interviews have mostly been more of the usual. I have heard it all: the soothing insistence that I will 'like' losing my free will again, the pleading to be invited to my home, the relentless explanation of her supposed attractiveness. If the body double on her ID is anything to go by, she's likely not wrong, exactly. They never are. But I have the good sense to keep things to phone and text regardless.

Or, ordinarily I would. Allow me to explain.

I have long been fascinated by the almost thoughtless nature with which vampires often conduct themselves. Enough to write a paper on the topic, in fact, in which I was able to correlate vampiric age (time since being turned) with both repetitiveness of speech and disinterest in communication. I hypothesized that this is a result of the general ease with which a vampire might live their life— Vampires can physically outperform any human with ease, they can get whatever they want from most humans with their charms, and, of course, they have no particular need to interact with society; they have thralls for that. The only non-trivial challenge is in acquiring blood, and, again, they have thralls for that.

By now I'm sure you're all weary of my invocation of the 'philosophical zombie' trope, but it is an undeniably apt descriptor. From my perspective, vampires seem to run on a sort of autopilot when they approach us, showing all the signs of sapience and yet acting like an endless phone tree which always redirects to your submission. Because, infuriatingly enough, that autopilot is quite effective. I'm sure some of you have had close encounters with our 'friends' in the past, and perhaps some of you are even presently enthralled— if either is the case for you, you know the weight of these words. If your mind can simply be made to change with even a tiny drink of your blood, why should She, the vampire, ever face such difficulty that would change Hers?

I'm rather cynical about the whole thing. Years of research, actual academic research on this phenomenon, and so rarely do I see anything resembling a lead. The mechanics of vampirism raise many questions that warrant investigation—They are vulnerable to indirect sunlight, yet bask in the moon; their voices are always alluring, even when recorded and masked, even if the audio waveform is merely watched; they consume blood endlessly, but excrete nothing—but the field is plagued by hearsay, lies, and needlessly Christian explanations. Worse, none of the vampires I have talked to show any interest in any of these questions, nor are they forthcoming with any experience which doesn't involve a 'hot' and 'yummy-looking' human staring blankly into their eyes.

I had been putting up with exactly that for about three hours in an interview the other day before I eventually just… snapped. I attempted to ask upfront, quite aggressively, how this vampire could be satisfied with such a lazily violating existence. How she could deprive her thralls of free will, effortlessly reshape their minds around her, and never once consider if there was any other way to survive. How she could so easily fall into the same patterns with me, despite knowing of my history with her kind.

She did not react well. To her, I was simply failing to understand her supposedly ethical enthrallment, her assorted boundaries, and of course that, actually, if I were enthralled by her, I would enjoy it. Things escalated from there.

You all know I have studied this subject for many years. I am aware of all these arguments; I have had this conversation many, many times. So I expected to be appealed to along these lines. I expected to have to desperately resist the submissive desires which her voice insistently kneads into the back of my mind. I expected to be retraumatized.

I did not expect her to offer to turn me.

It came in a heated moment, her responding to my insistence that I never wish to experience enthrallment again by asking if I'd want to experience the reverse. I was caught off-guard, truly. Tempted ever so slightly, perhaps… but also struck by the presence of an idea I have never once considered. My own cognitive laziness, I suppose.

To her, it was a challenge, of course. She wants to prove that I'd stoop to her level, that vampirism is just inherently a corrupting condition, that her disregard for human autonomy is inevitable and therefore just. But for me, it is more than that. For me, it may just be the opportunity I have spent my career searching for.

What better source of knowledge could there be on the biological and psychological impact of vampirism than my own self? What better ward could there be against the more aggressive participants in my studies than the knowledge that they can never control me, however hard they try? What centuries-old questions might I finally be able to resolve, here and now, as a bridge between the worlds of humanity and vampirism?

But I am not blind to the risks, either. I would have to give this new vampire power over me, if only temporarily. And even if she is true to her word, I am well aware that the temptations of this condition are nothing to take lightly.

Rest assured, dear readers, I will consider it long and well. You are all free to try to influence my decision in the comments, of course, though don't expect me to listen. Just know that whatever happens, I am still your light in the darkness. I hope to be worthy of that title going forward.

Comments

Dr. Linda Ashford
It's good to see another post from you, Luminita, I'd grown worried when I didn't see you at the International Conference for Paranormal Studies this year. As for the question itself, I can only trust your expertise will lead you to a good decision. Though, it may be best to keep avoiding ICPS, if you go through with this…

cakegirl
if u get turned can i be ur thrall

DEUS_VULT_420
harrowing to see the word of the LORD so callously spurned, you must REPENT, if you seek His LIGHT it will guide you IF ONLY YOU LET IT IN. If not i will be forcrd to Slay you

Gerogero
Huh ok ig

DEUS_VULT_420
CLEANSE YOURSELF OF APATHTHY! VILE BEAST

Gerogero
?

CrinchoJinjo
Sad to see the infestation of SIMPS in this comment section soliciting sordid sex at your hour of vulnerability. Sadly, this is all too often the case… people just cannot keep their impluses in line! Honestly, I can have a little trouble with that myself. It sometimes makes me want someone who can do it for me, but we all know that's off the table. I don't really have anyone special in my life… sorry, a bit TMI, I know. I'll stop bothering you now.

hunter_419
I may not always agree with you, but I can tell you this is a bad idea. Please don't sacrifice yourself like this.

seeker_of_knowledge
As if your testimony could get any less reliable. That’s fine, just go ahead and sacrifice what little credibility you have left. We all know you’ve been working with the bloodsuckers for years now anyway.

hunter_419
You know there's no evidence for that. She's obviously biased, but throwing around baseless accusations like this is unhelpful at best.

Gerogero
👆gay

BloodyMary
Oh, wow, this is such a cute blog! I always thought you just stuck to stuffy academic things, but you know how to internet and everything. Can't wait to see you post here about how cute all your nerdy little thralls are (:

Dr. Linda Ashford
For her sake, I hope that never comes to pass.

CrinchoJinjo
Thralls? :grimacing: